Saturday, November 22, 2008
Perfect Angel: Joshua Ryan McKinney 11/9/08-11/19/08
I don't even know how to begin... For the first time in my life, I am speechless. How can I honor someone so perfect as my baby boy Joshua Ryan? I am so amazed at the impact this precious angel has made on so many. He has touched more lives in his short 10 days than many people do in a lifetime. I am so honored to say that he is my son. I can truly say that my baby boy was perfect. He never hurt anyone, he never told a lie, he never made a bad decision. He came into this world and defeated odd after odd. He made his prescence known and I am convinced that through this blog and the prayers of so many that he has brought someone closer to the Lord. He defintely brought me closer. I praise God for allowing me to be Josh's Mom!!! He trusted me with one of his most precious angel's and for a short time I was closer to heaven than anyone on this earth could ever come.
I posted a bible verse(Joshua 1:5) in a previous blog that I referred to as Josh's promise from God. I need to clarify something. God brought this verse to me, not to Josh. The promise was not for my son, but for myself. God had such an amazing plan for this little boy, and it was so far out of my minds grasp. He intended this little boy to change my life, not the other way around. And that is exactly what he did. Josh has made my whole life have purpose. I also know that my little girl will always have an incredible protector with her. Her little brother. He will always gaurd over her and keep her safe until we are all reunited as a family. In Joshua 1:5, God promised me, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." He has made that promise to all of us and if there is one lesson that my son could teach us is that God is the end all and he is perfect in all his plans. We do not have to understand his plans, we just need to rest assured that he will never leave us nor forsake us. He gives all of us perfect miracles, we just have to make sure we hold onto them forever, whether in life or in spirit.
I would like to share with everyone what my Mother wrote for Joshua:
Joshua Ryan McKinney
November 9, 2008 - November 19, 2008
Some people might argue that there isn't much that can be said about a person who's never talked, walked or worked. They may say that ten days on this earth is not enough time to make an impact on others, but I disagree with these people when it comes to Josh.
From the moment he was concieved, the doctors said that he was about a week smaller than his sister, Emma. Josh decided to not let that hold him back and to live his life to the fullest. His mom would tell me stories daily about his antics in the womb; rolling, flipping, tumbling, head-butting and kicking with his sister. He always hid his heartbeat from the nurses but was forth coming with his pasterior! He was energetic and a prankster.
When it was time for Josh and Emma to come into this world, he had a hard time coming out. The doctors told his parents that it was a true miracle that he survived birth. But, Josh knew better. Despite his bruising, that finally subsided, he began to thrive. On the fifth day, Josh surprised everyone by opening his eyes! The doctors said that this was abnormally early for someone as young as he was. I am sure that he wanted to see the world and the faces of his Mom and Dad who love him so dearly, and he loves back.
As after happens with such tiny little babies, something miscued within Josh's body. After a very serious operation that would certainly waylay a grown man for weeks, Josh faught valiantly against overwhelming physical odds. He never gave up until God, in His all-knowing love, wisdom and grace, told him it was alright to rest.
I believe that Josh has reminded us of some of life's most basic rules. To love and be loved; to live life with great energy; to make others lives happier with a good sense of humor; and to never give up until God says it's okay to do so. Although Josh will be so dearly missed by his Mom, Dad, sister and family; I think it is very important to mention Josh's last contribution. The story of Emma and Josh has reached out to literally thousands of people, through prayer requests, blogs, and even total strangers in Wal-Mart and BP. Through sharing his and his sisters story, so many people have been led closer to God. If only we could all hope to reach out to even a few in a lifetime. It only only took Josh ten too-short days!
I believe that Josh's spirit is now cheering Emma on as she continues her journey to come home with her Mom and Dad. I know he knows of the joys of God's Heaven and is hoping that all hearts will mend and that all will feel God's good grace at this time, and the years ahead. So, I will conclude this letter about Josh by saying that he was a blessing to us all and thank him for the impact he made on all our lives.
Love, Grammy Charlotte
Love and Prayers to All!!!
The McKinney's
Today was Josh's Memorial Service. Sorry for not posting anything about the arrangements or making anyone aware of the arrangements. Ryan and I have been having a really tough time and really wanted to keep it limited to family and close friends. It was a very touching memorial. Our pastor had a very good talk and he read aloud what my mother had written. (See previous blog) We also had one of my best friends, Courtney, sing "Silent Night". This song is not only special for it's obvious Christmas undertones, but this is the song that I sang to him every night before I would come home. I still sing it to my Emma, of course. Court - You did an incredible job and it meant mroe to me than you could ever know. I love you bunches!!! "Silent Night" was once one of my top two favorite Christmas songs and it has now cemented itself firmly as the TOP DOG song in any genre!!! The pastor also allowed for people to speak at will, and that was very special. We had several family members and some close friends say some very touching words about our Josh, Ryan and myself. It was a very precious ceremony and I am so thankful to all the wonderful people who were invloved today. I made a shadow box to honor our little man, Josh. I am sure that Heather will post some pictures soon, so please feel free to pop over to her page, and I will try to get them copied over to mine as soon as possible.
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